Top 10 Things You Should Know About Buck Nasty

Bucki's my name and nasty's my game. And nasty I most definitely am. Not just your regular, everyday, run-of-the mill, diet Pepsi just one calorie nasty…I am the epitome of nasty, the pinnacle of nasty, the epicenter from which all nastiness radiates. I am, I was, I forever will be BUCK Nasty.

But why Buck Nasty you ask yourself? My friends adopted the moniker as a testament to both my Polish heritage and my wonderfully-crass behavior, which oftentimes includes running around "Buck" naked, acting "Buck" wild or even inducing a "Buck" fever.

As you might have surmised, I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in and following your dreams, and I couldn't possibly spend more time caring less about those who have a problem with that. Those haters can suck my left one.

I am a full-on (and sometimes nearly hysterical) extrovert who thoroughly enjoys meeting new people and experiencing new things. Born a Gemini, I am mercurial by nature and thrive on constant change because I get restless very easily. I'll try anything once, and I get annoyed with people who don't share the same open-minded and adventurous outlook. I am college educated, but I'm also a pure-bread Polack, so I have been known to say and do ridiculously stupid things from time to time. I once mistook the sound of the ice cream truck for my cell phone ringer. However, what I lack in understanding, I make up for with my enthusiasm and willingness to experiment.

Top 10 Things You Should Know about Buck Nasty:

10. I have cleavage in a turtleneck.
9. I make a kick-ass spinach and artichoke dip.
8. I have impressive burping skills and can even execute words or entire sentences on command. My belches are so formidable, in fact, that they’ve actually made peoples’ cheeks flap in the wind when caught in the line of fire.
7. I am a celebrity in my own right. As a former employer of Beltone Electronics, my now famous ears have dazzled many various billboards, newspaper ads and direct mail pieces seen throughout the country.
6. I have been told that I have a very distinctive laugh, which has been likened to the sound of a lamb getting hit by a mack truck.
5. My brother’s name is Wally, and I at one time owned a dog name Beaver.
4. I can understand and recite all the words to “Informer” by Snow.
3. I presently work for an industrial safety manufacturer and can easily provide stretchers, flame-retardant clothing, fall protection and respirators for all your party needs.
2. I am a survivor. I’m not talking about some lame song by Destiny’s Child, I mean I’m a literal survivor. I recently took on four pulmonary embolisms and an additional thrombus in my pelvis to boot and still came out kicking. I’m like the Tupac of blood clots…except, well, I’m still alive.
1. Did I mention I have cleavage in a turtleneck?

Who wants to get Bucktified?